Baby Steps
by HolbyHeartbeat
Summary: Suddenly her facial expressions changed, her hand moving automatically to her stomach as a small gasp escaped her lips. "Jac?" The worry in Jonny's voice wasn't missed... One-shot. Jac/Jonny


**Hello! :D**

**I thought I'd have a go at writing a one-shot (after reading some pretty amazing ones on here - which I'll get round to reviewing, promise), and I HOPE is in character. I do have a multi-chapter idea, but I wanted to post this first to find out if it was worth continuing with (instead of starting a multi-chap which ends up rubbish with all the characters nothing like they should be).**

**And feedback would be great :) I'm kinda nervous about posting this! :') x**

* * *

Baby Steps

Jonny Maconie leant his head in his hands and groaned as Mo dropped the heavy files on the desk in front of him.

"Oh I'm sorry," she smiled widely, a hand on her hip and a smile on her lips. "Are you feeling a little tender this morning?"

"Go away, you're a bad influence," Jonny muttered before tilting his head in Mo's direction. "Why aren't you hung over? You drank just as much as me last night!"

"Because I'm superwoman," Mo grinned. "And because by the end of the night I think you were drinking two to my every one. You were just too drunk to notice."

"Urgh, why didn't you stop me," Jonny said, dropping his head back in his hands and closing his eyes.

"I didn't say I was sober," Mo stated. "Just that I wasn't quite as drunk as you were."

"I feel like death warmed up."

"Don't let your patients hear you say that," Mo laughed. "They'll be scared you'll pull out your scythe."

"Oh ha ha, very funny. I thought I told you to go away," Jonny groaned again.

"You did."

Opening one eye to check if she had gone Jonny sighed when he realised Mo was still leaning against the workstation, watching him.

"Has she agreed to move in with you yet?" she asked casually, picking at her nails.

"Nope. I haven't found the right time to ask her again."

"Have you tried to find the right time," Mo raised her eyebrows, waiting for a response.

Which Jonny wasn't willing to give.

"We're barely on speaking terms half the time. Now go away, I need to look awake before she gets here," Jonny said as he closed his eyes again and stretched his arms above his head, trying to wake himself up. "Or my life won't be worth living if she finds out I'm feeling rough."

Mo shook her head slightly, grinning as Jonny opened his eyes and winced at the light.

"How did you get yourself in this situation Jonny," Mo signed, receiving a glare from her colleague.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" Jonny smirked. "What about 'Come on Jonny, we haven't been out just the two of us in weeks. Just a few drinks, you don't need to tell the ice queen anything.' Anything sounding familiar yet?"

Mo opened her mouth to answer as the elevator doors opened and a worried looking F1 came running out, a report clutched to her chest.

"Skinny latte!" the impatience in her voice that travelled from the lift was evident. "Skinny! What don't you understand? If you can't get my coffee right why am I going to read your pathetic report?"

"You'll be fine Jonny," Mo smiled, patting him on the shoulder. "Sounds like she's in a good mood this morning."

Mo laughed to herself as she scooped up a file and disappeared, leaving Jonny to lean back in his chair and groan again. This was going to be a long day.

"Valentine, please tell me there's a competent F1 somewhere on the ward who actually knows how to order a coffee," Jonny's eyes opened instantly at Jac's voice to see her leaning almost exactly where Mo had been seconds before. "Oh I'm sorry Nurse Maconie, are we keeping you up."

"No, I was just-" Jonny stopped in his attempt to find an excuse when he realised what Jac was holding. "Why do you have your helmet?"

"Excuse me?" she asked, her eyebrows creased.

"Your helmet. Why do you have it?"

"Have you knocked your head or something this morning, maybe Valentine should take a look at you," Jac frowned.

"But-" Jonny felt a sudden urge to shout at her rise up inside him as he clenched his fists. "Do you really think you should be on your bike when, you know."

Jonny's eyes travelled from Jac's to her stomach and back again, as Jac shook her head slightly as if to say 'not-here.' He was aware of how many people were around, how many would be watching them out the corner of their eye. Everyone always paid attention to Jac Naylor, especially in the morning. Her behavior at the beginning of a shift was usually a good indication of how good the day was going to be.

"Valentine, find me a coffee, I don't care who gets it, but I want it waiting for me by the time I get back."

Jac turned her back on Jonny and started in the direction of her office, ignoring him when he caught up with her. He wasn't ready to let this one go quite so easily.

They had just reached the door to her office when Jonny grabbed hold of Jac's arm, stopping her in her tracks.

"You are _four_ months pregnant Jac," he almost growled, pulling her in close, an anger in his eyes that Jac had never seen before.

"I'm well aware of that thanks," Jac spat back. "Do you want to announce it to the entire hospital, or just Darwin?"

"Well seeing as your asking," Jonny tilted his head.

"You dare."

"What Jac, are you still embarrassed? Are you still scared that people will look down on you because the father of your baby is a nurse and not some big-shot consultant like you?" Jonny asked, the sarcasm oozing from his words. "Are you worried that everyone might realise that you're human after all?"

"Let go of me," Jac warned, pulling her arm free.

"Some mother you are already," Jonny continued, not quite sure what was fuelling his anger. "Why the hell are you on your bike? You're risking your life every time you get on that thing. Surely you should know that better than anyone else."

"Because I'm pregnant, not an invalid," Jac glared, pushing open her office door. "And I don't need you telling me what to do."

Jonny watched as Jac turned away from him and in to her office.

"And as for my 'parenting' skills," she added. "I can smell the alcohol on your breath from here."

"That's not the same thing and you know it."

"Just stay away from me today," Jac glared, shutting the door on Jonny and leaving him standing with his hands still clenched.

* * *

Jonny knew that he had said some things he shouldn't have. He knew that with Jac Naylor, he often had to think twice before opening his mouth, and yet he always found it difficult to do so.

There was a time when everything had felt natural between them, where he could laugh with her and make her smile. But he hadn't seen her smile in so long, not that he was helping matters any.

The fact that Jac was pregnant was still to be kept a secret, and Jonny had no say in the matter. In all honesty, he was finding it increasingly difficult to keep the pregnancy a secret. Yet with the help of a bigger set of scrubs and baggier shirts, they had managed to keep the fact that Jac was pregnant from the rest of the staff so far, much to Jonny's disappointment.

But at four months, he knew it was only a matter of time before people were going to notice. Rumors were going to start. And with Jac being so slim to begin with, he was surprised it wasn't more noticeable now, even under the baggy tops.

Jonny could tell the difference of course. To him every day it was obvious how much bigger she was getting. Even recently, although they'd hardly been speaking, he could see the difference in her.

And it annoyed Jonny that little bit more every day. Because he wanted to see their baby grow, he wanted to be close to them, both of them, and yet Jac just seemed to keep pushing him away.

He had thought that everything was going to be ok between them, that they could sort something out. That was until Jac's twelve weeks scan. The first time that their baby looked like an actual baby, with real features and a very sudden realisation that they were going to be parents.

But then Jac had changed around him. Had become even easier to annoy than usual. She snapped at him daily, barely looked him in the eye. He had blamed it on hormones at first, but weeks later nothing had changed. And Jonny was suddenly terrified that Jac had changed her mind. That she didn't want this any more. He knew that she would be a great mother, but he didn't think that she believed it herself.

And Jonny had promised himself that he was going to make her see that she was capable of being a mum, no matter what her own mother had been like. He was going to make her see that they could do it, together.

But instead he had messed it up. He'd told her all the things that she didn't need to hear, and left her alone again. And what made it even worse was the fact that he was sure he had seen a tear roll down her cheek as she had closed the door on him.

* * *

"Ms Naylor wants a staff meeting," Oliver announced, smirking at the number of disgruntled faces around the ward at the news. "In the next ten minutes. If everyone could spread the word."

"Why?" Mo asked, looking in Jonny's direction, who just shook his head and shrugged.

"No idea," Oliver said. "I'm just the messenger."

When Jac Naylor wanted a meeting, everyone got worried, each sure that they were going to be the main focus of Ms Naylor's complaint. So within ten minutes all available staff had congregated in the middle of the ward, waiting for the impact.

"Elliot's in theatre," Oliver explained, as Jac appeared, a pile of files in one arm, which she quickly passed over, and a coffee in the other.

"Fine," she said, turning to the group in front of her. "It's not him I was wanting to talk to anyway. It was everyone else."

Worried looks were exchanged between the staff as Jac continued.

"I've noticed recently that there's been a lack of organisation on this ward, and if this isn't sorted now, it's going to have a serious knock on affect on the patients," Jac scanned the group in front of her, waiting for some sort of retaliation, yet there was rarely a response. "If a patient is on half hourly obs, I expect them to be done _every_ half hour. No exceptions."

Jonny watched as Jac put down her coffee and placed her hands on her hips.

"I'm not telling you this for any reason other than to remind you that you are expected to be working to the highest standards, not standing around all day gossiping, Patients come first and-"

Suddenly her facial expressions changed, her hand moving automatically to her stomach as a small gasp escaped her lips.

"Jac?"

The worry in Jonny's voice wasn't missed and earned him a glare from his colleague as she straightened up again, her composure restored in seconds.

"I know what everyone is capable of" Jac continued, looking around at the staff again yet avoiding Jonny. "And if I think that any of you aren't pulling your weight, you'll be in my office. Understand?"

There was a murmur of agreement from the staff, before Jac turned away and everyone dispersed again.

Jonny watched as Jac headed directly for her office, almost frozen to the spot. Something was wrong. Something had to be wrong; she hadn't been getting any pains for weeks. Or so she said, the last time she had spoken to him properly.

"Well go after her then," Mo muttered at him as she picked up a file, and pushed him in the direction Jac has just left.

Jonny caught up with her in seconds.

"Jac!" he grabbed her by the arm again, mirroring his actions of the morning and stopping Jac before she could get to her office. "There's something wrong."

"There's nothing wrong," Jac shook her head, but could see the look of worry in Jonny's eyes. "There's nothing wrong Jonny" she emphasised.

"Then what was all that about?" Jonny quizzed, throwing his arm in the direction in which they had just been.

"Not here," Jac said, looking around the busy ward.

"No," Jonny said forcefully. "There's only so long we can keep this a secret. It won't be long before even the biggest set of scrubs won't cover it up."

Jac paused, her eyes finding his and Jonny saw an emotion he had never witnessed before. One which he couldn't place.

"Not here Jonny," Jac repeated, shrugging her arm free and taking hold of his wrist, pulling him in the direction of her office.

* * *

"There's nothing wrong," Jac smiled uncertainly, sitting on the couch in her office and motioning for Jonny to sit next to her.

"Then all that back there-"

"Shut up," Jac leant back and took Jonny's wrist again, before pulling up her scrub top and placing his hand on top of her stomach.

"Jac, what are you-"

"Shut up," Jac repeated impatiently, rolling her eyes.

Jonny did as he was instructed, his eyebrows creased in concentration. It felt strange, being so physically close to Jac after the past few weeks. They had barely been on speaking terms some days, with Jac snapping at him for simply getting too close. He had been her personal punch bag, with her throwing her words at him to hit exactly where she knew they hurt most. And he had let her. He had blamed her hormones. Because he was terrified of seeing the tears in her eyes again and knowing that he had been the one to cause them. And yet he had still managed to upset her again this morning.

"Did you feel that?" Jac turned to him suddenly, her eyes wide and the first true smile on her lips he had seen in months.

Jonny shook his head slightly, not wanting to disappoint her but knowing she would be able to see through his lies. Jac frowned slightly and moved his hand along her stomach, pressing his palm down further. Jonny couldn't help but smile at the small protrusion of her stomach and the thought of what was growing inside. His baby. His family.

"She'll move again, just wait," Jac said quietly, concentrating on her stomach.

"She?" Jonny grinned, and Jac smirked, not looking up.

"Shut up."

"Will you stop telling me to shut up?" Jonny laughed. "I was just curious. You said 'she.' You said 'she' would move again. Have you had another scan and not told me?"

"Of course I haven't," Jac scowled, pulling Jonny's hand away from her skin. "Do you really think I'd do something like that, after-"

Jonny felt the guilt in his stomach as soon as he'd asked. He hadn't meant for it to sound like an accusation, but the words had escaped before he could stop them. He knew what Jac was talking about when she cut off, looking away from him so he wouldn't be able to see the emotion he knew was in her eyes.

The day that he had first made Jac cry, the one where he had spent the afternoon searching the hospital for her, he had promised her that they were in this together. No matter what happened between them, how much they argued, they were going to both be parents.

And she had agreed. Just after the scan, when he had distracted Elliott and left Jac to clean up, she had found him in the staffroom and things were that little bit different between them. There was an unspoken agreement that they were indeed in this together, no matter how much Jac thought she could do it on her own.

Because Jonny knew she couldn't. She needed him, and in all honesty, Jonny needed Jac just as much. Not that either of them would ever admit to such a thing.

"I'm sorry," Jonny muttered, taking hold of Jac's wrist once again.

Eventually he watched as her shoulders relaxed and she turned towards him.

"You said she," he repeated, nodding towards Jac's stomach.

"It's just a feeling. A hunch," she shrugged. "It's only a fifty-fifty chance, it's not as if I can guess too badly, can I?"

Jonny laughed, slumping back in the sofa.

"Very true. But I've heard that mum's are usually the best at predicting the gender," Jonny smiled. "So before-" Jonny pressed. "Was that the first time you'd felt her kick?"

Jac smiled slightly at his use of 'she', yet Jonny caught it.

"Yeah. Kinda caught me off guard."

"I noticed," Jonny said.

"As did most of the staff after your little outburst," Jac raised her eyebrows at him again.

"Sorry," Jonny muttered. "You do realise there's only so long you can keep this quiet though, don't you?"

"Obviously," Jac rolled her eyes.

"Then why don't we just go tell everyone now. Make it official?" Jonny asked, the hope in his voice evident.

"No," Jac responded bluntly leaving no room for arguments.

"Come on Jac, why not?" Jonny groaned. "You're four months pregnant. Four! People are going to start to talk."

"Then let them," Jac shrugged. "Let them talk about the possibility of the ice queen being pregnant. Let them laugh at the idea of me raising a child, when I have no experience of how it should be done. I'm sure they'll be taking bets at how long I'll last before I walk out on her like my mother did on me. Because remember Jonny, I am the woman with no emotion. I don't feel. I don't love."

"Shut up." Jonny sighed, repeating Jac's earlier words. "Is that really what you're worried about? That people are going to gossip?"

"People always gossip Jonny, it's in their nature," Jac stated.

"Then let them," Jonny shrugged. "Let them talk all they like. Because they may speculate, but I know different. I _know_ that you'll be a great mother. And I'm really sorry about what I said this morning. I didn't mean any of it, honestly. We can do this. With or without people gossiping. We can be parents."

There was silence between them as Jonny searched her eyes, which were fixed securely on his.

"You told me once that you loved me," Jonny said quietly, watching as Jac's lip quivered.

"Stop it-"

"You told me you loved me, after everything, and then I messed it up. We messed things up," Jonny said seriously. "I don't want things to be messed up."

"Me neither," Jac shook her head. "But what are we supposed to do?"

"What about what we did before?" Jonny shrugged. "Y'know, I drive us in to work, you walk in ten minutes before me. I wait for you in the car when our shift ends. Secret meetings in the store cupboard for, well, you get the picture."

Jonny grinned hopefully, yet the look in Jac's eyes worried him. She looked close to tears again.

"No," she shook her head slightly.

"No?"

"No. I don't want any of that," Jac sighed. "Haven't you been listening? I don't want people gossiping. I don't want our baby to grow up with a messed up childhood, being passed from pillar to post, feeling as if they're not wanted. I want us to be- I want us to be _us_."

Jac turned away quickly, pushing herself to her feet ready to leave the office. "I need to check on Valentine, I've left him with Mr Simonds who can get mouthy when he's not updated every ten minutes-"

"Jac stop," Jonny was on his feet and leaning against the door in seconds, preventing her from leaving. "What are you saying?"

"Nothing Jonny, just leave me alone."

"No," Jonny pushed against the door again as Jac tried to open it. "You're not going anywhere until we sort this out."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"There is everything to talk about," Jonny sighed, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Jac, these last few weeks we've barely said a word to each other and it's made me think. I've been miserable, I haven't been concentrating on work, that's why I went out with Mo last night. To forget. To stop thinking about everything."

There was a silence between them again.

"You told me once that you loved me," Jonny repeated, leaning in close to Jac until he could feel her breath on his skin. "And truth is, I love you too. I really do. And not just because you're carrying our child, but because you're you. Jac Naylor, ice queen, the woman who doesn't blink. I don't care what other people say, or think, or whisper behind our backs. Because I know we can be ok. The three of us."

"Why are you saying all of this," Jac asked, her voice breaking slightly as she tried to hold back the tears.

"Because it's true," Jonny said seriously. "We can be ok, I know we can. You trust me, right?"

"I suppose," Jac frowned.

"You suppose," Jonny raised his eyebrows. "I'm pouring my heart out here and all I get is an 'I suppose.'"

"Ok, yes," Jac half laughed, wiping her eyes roughly. "Yes, I trust you."

"Good," Jonny nodded. "Now come on, let me feel her kick again."

Jonny took hold of Jac's shoulders and directed her backwards to the sofa, sitting her down again.

"Jonny you were right, before. It's the first time I've felt her move, so the chances of you feeling her-"

"Yeah well, you're so bloody skinny I'm sure I have a higher chance than most," Jonny grinned, waiting for Jac to pull up her scrub top again, rolling her eyes as she did so.

"We can really do this. Properly?" Jac said, and Jonny looked up, their eyes locking.

"Of course we can," he grinned. "If you can manage to control that lot out there on a daily basis, and still have time to be a super hero in surgery, bringing up a child is going to be easy."

"She probably won't need as much supervision as half of them," Jac smirked as Jonny placed his hand back on her stomach.

Jac watched the way Jonny's facial expressions changed as he did so, the look of concentration painted across his features, desperate to feel something. Maybe she shouldn't have told him about the baby moving until it was something stronger, but she had been excited when she had first felt the movement. Which had surprised her more than anything else, and cemented in her mind the fact that this was what she wanted.

It wasn't at first, she would be the first to admit it, but as the weeks had gone by the thought of becoming a mother became that little bit less daunting. She was still terrified of course, but in that very moment, sat in her office with Jonny's hand pressed against her slightly swollen stomach, she could honestly say that she had never felt more confident at having a baby.

Jonny was right. They could do it.

"I've decided not to ride my bike again until after she's born," Jac said and watched as the grin appeared on Jonny's lips.

"Good," he said simply. "There's nothing wrong with your car."

Jac opened her mouth to argue that her car wasn't any safer than her bike, but changed her mind again. She really couldn't be bothered with any more pointless arguments.

"You know Jac, when the baby's born, if we're going to do this together, it's going to be easier for both of us, for all of us, if she has two parents around all the time," Jonny stated.

"She will have two parents around, I thought we'd just had this conversation."

"Move in with me," Jonny said seriously, his eyes fixed on hers.

"No."

Jonny could remember the last time he had asked Jac to move in with him, how his day had gone from near perfect to a total disaster. But he had thought that it would be different now. That she would realise living together was the right choice.

"No?"

"No," Jac repeated, noting the look of hurt in his eyes. "I've told you before, I'm not living in your shoebox of an apartment."

Jonny felt deflated, his shoulders slumping, yet he didn't want to push it. All it would take was for him to say the wrong thing and they would be back to square one, ignoring each other.

"I on the other hand have a house that should be big enough for the three of us, to start with anyway," Jac shrugged. "We'll probably need to get a bigger one when she's older and needs her own room, but for the next year at least it should do."

Jonny's grin widened as he took in her words, yet Jac wouldn't look at him.

"You want us to live together?" he asked, tilting her chin up until he could look at her properly,

"I do," Jac replied seriously, only then noticing how close he was, how his lips lingered inches from her own.

Neither of them knew who leant in first, but as their lips connected, Jonny's hand finding the back of Jac's neck, their eyes closed embracing the moment, they both felt something change. Something new forming between them, and neither of them wanted to break the embrace.

"I love you," Jonny breathed, leaning his forehead against Jac's and smiling at the way her nose tickled his.

"As much as I hate to admit it," she signed, their eyes connecting. "I love you too."

Jonny smirked, finally letting go and leaning back slightly. Jac stood up almost immediately.

"I have a ward to run," she breathed, straightening up as if to fully compose herself.

Jonny watched as she stretched, her top tightening around her stomach ever so slightly. Jac noticed him watching.

"You'll feel her soon," she smiled. "We can check every night if you want."

Jonny grinned, the sudden realisation that they were actually going to be living together finally sinking in. "If you think I'm going to help you move though you can think again," she added.

"Fine by me, I don't want you lifting anything anyway."

"Pregnant. Not an invalid," Jac frowned, her hands on her hips, waiting for Jonny.

"Yes Ms Naylor," he smirked, throwing his hand over her shoulders as they walked out her office together.

"We're still keeping this between us for a little longer," Jac announced and Jonny smiled.

"Of course."

Jac didn't shrug his arm off her shoulder until they had reached the middle of the busy ward.

'Baby steps,' Jonny thought to himself as he listed to Jac demand a stethoscope from the terrified F1. 'Baby steps are better than nothing.'

And after all, soon he would be waking up to her every morning. If Jac wanted to keep the baby a secret a little longer, that was fine with him.


End file.
